I just can't stay ahead of her!

Once again, the lovely Maria (sunlightlady@gmail.com) has managed to get ahead of me on correspondence. One wonders where she finds the time, with her testing and making arrangements to come visit me in my 'town or locality'. Since I've never revealed that to her, I'm sure it makes her task all the harder! And yet she takes the time to write these lengthy emails. What a trooper!

In response to her two most recent emails, I sent the following:

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Dearest Maria,

I've again been lax in replying to you, haven't I? You passed your test and I sent nary a note, let alone the huge congratulations that you deserve!

It's good to hear you'll be making so much money when you get here. That's a relief, since I have been looking forward to hitting you up for loans, and outright gifts, and was concerned that perhaps you wouldn't be able to come through. Thankfully, that's been avoided.

I've been a little down today. I told you about the recent crushing and subsequent passing of my dog. I was ok with that -- yippy little bastard -- but the ground was very cold and it was hard to dig a hole to drop his corpse in. Ultimately, I broke my best shovel. I'm still pretty upset over it. Have you ever lost a cherished lawn implement?

Well, I'm sure you've got lots of things to do, what with your upcoming move to my town and all, so I'd better let you go. Have a good weekend! (Do they have weekend's in your country?)

Yours in fraud,

Dave
====

Her emails were:

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Hello Dave!

How are you there? I hope that all is well with you and the weather is not bad also! I'm here feeling well and the weather is good enough! Well, yesterday I passed the test as you know and I celebrated it with my friends. We went to the caf? and drank some bear. Do not worry we didn't celebrate too much. We all know when we have to stop. But I still feel that my head is ailing. Upon the whole it was fun. I wish you were there with me. Ok, enough about..

This morning I went to my agency and I had a conversation there. I was told that as soon as I come to NYC a man from the agency in NYC will meet me in the airport (JFK). Then we will head to the office of the agency where I'll get to know the conditions of the contract, I will confirm the state and the town where I want to go for work and will sign the contract. I was told that the agency in NYC will provide with the apartment until all paperwork will be done. I think I'll stay at NYC for a couple of days. Also I'll get an advance to support myself for the time. They said it will be $5400.00 US dollars which I'll have to repay them in six months. As for the salary I'll be paid, they said it will be $56000.00 in the first year and $70000.00 in the second one. I'll sign the contract for two years, and if everything will be ok I'll try to get the citizenship.

Dave, can you tell me is my salary will be good for America?

Well, I'm sure that I'll have more detailed info later. I'll let you know about it for sure.

You know some of my friends convince me to choose Europe for work since I have an international license and can practice all over the world. They say that Europe is much closer to Russia and we could communicate easily. But I think that it's not a big deal. No matter where I'll work (live). Since all of us have an Internet access a communication becomes not a problem. Besides I think the Europe is not so perspective as America.

Dave, I caught myself on the thought that don't know an American music at all. I don't mean Britney Spears or something like that. I mean if you have a national style of music.. I've heard of country for example. Is there anything else? I'll glad if you will advise me something to listen to. Maybe you'll give me some names and I'll take a look. By the way, I want to ask you if you have any rollercoaster near you. I'd like to visit one someday. We have here something like that. We have an aqua park. It is where you can to swim and to have fun in any time of the year. It's quite expensive but affordable. I have been there some times. Do you have aqua parks there?

Well I have to quit here, because I want to go to the church today. I want to pray there and put a candle. Dave, I'm not sure if I'll be able to write you during weekend, but I'll try to drop you a line at least. I'll wait for your reply!

Sincerely

Your friend

Maria

P.S. I didn't attach pics today, but I'll try to find new pics for you during weekend. I'll be glad to see your new pics!
====

And...

====
Hello Dave!

It's a quick note just to let you know that I passed the test! I got the 100 of correct answers! I am so happy you can't imagine! Throughout a week I'll have all of my documents ready and I'll be able to reserve a ticket to NYC! I'm so excited!

Tomorrow I'll find exactly if your town will be available to choose for work. I hate to keep this short, but I have to rest. It was a crazy hectic day for me.

I'll write to you tomorrow!

Sincerely

Your friend

Maria
====

What a strange scam! Rather than emphasizing her costs, she's bragging about how much money she'll have when she gets here. I'm expecting one of these "Can you lend me $500 for now, and I'll pay you $1000 in three months?" sort of deals. But only time will tell.

Stay tuned!

"Show me the money!"

My Russian girlfriend (sunlightlady@gmail.com) is apparently starting to become concerned about money. She doesn't ask for any in this most recent email, but she clearly wants me to know that it's a problem. The good news is -- she's reading my emails! This is obvious from such comments as:

"I can say that I did receive all you sent, do not worry. I have to tell you that I like talking to you very much"

Good to know, as I was afraid some of my rat-n-fly references might have put her off.

And happily, she's NOT sending these emails to every Tom, Dick, and Desperate, as I had previously assumed. No indeed! As she says:

"I want you to know that I'm chatting only with you Dave."

How sweet!

Here is her most recent email:
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Hello my friend Dave!

How is the weather there? I hope not bad. You know the weather is very mutable this year. We had a lot of thaws this winter. It's abnormal. I think it's maybe a global climate change. Do you think that the climate is changing?

How are you today? Is there something new? Not much new here. I did not write yesterday because I studied for the whole day and I was very tired at the end of the day. Fortunately I have some time today to write. Like I told you before I'll have a test on Thursday. It's tomorrow already! You know we have a rule here: to not study in the day before the test to keep the head fresh. Do you have any rules like that? It would be interesting to know. Maybe any tricks on the tests? Please do not think that I'm going to trick the test commission. It is not my style. It is just my curiosity. Do people in America trick during the test at all?

You know here in Russia tricks are considered like a shame. Ok, enough for that. Dave I'm always glad to receive your letters(pics)! And I can say that I did receive all you sent, do not worry. I have to tell you that I like talking to you very much and I want you to know that I'm chatting only with you Dave. I really hope that we could be friends and you could help me to settle down. I think that you are very honest, loyal, pretty enough. I believe that you have a very kind and warm heart, and all that you wrote was sincerely. It's hard to propose right now but I think we could become more than friends in the future. Of course I'm aware that we have to know each other much better, to meet face to face firstly.

Only time will tell.

As for my agency it's a very reputable organization. They work for five years already and they sent many people not only to America or Canada. They send people to Australia, Europe and even to Japan! I just can't believe that somebody learned Japan language! It is so hard! Did you try it? Of course my agency is not working for free. I have already paid them $1000.00 dollars for the different paperwork like the preparing of foreign passport, visa, and my medic license and etc. If I will pass the test I'll get the international license and I will have to pay $1500.00 dollars else which will be for airfare and to the agency itself for their work. You know it's a lot of money for me; I suppose it's a lot of money even for America. I was told that if everything will go ok, I'll fly to America throughout 2 weeks counting from the day of the test! It will be by March 22! I also hope that your town or area will be acceptable. They told me that they will let me know later.

Dave, I attached a new picture for you. It was made last summer by my friend Katerina. I hope you like it.

Ok, I have to go now. Dave, I'm not sure that I'll be able to write you tomorrow since I'll have a test, but I'll try to drop you a line.

Sincerely

Your friend

Maria
====

And here is my reply:

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Hi Maria!

Always a pleasure to hear from you. Your letters to me are as corpses to a funeral director!

I don't really buy into the whole "global climate change" idea. I think in reality we all just THINK it's hotter because we're wearing sweaters. One of these days we'll wise up and have a good laugh over the whole thing.

Nothing much new here. I've been diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer, but who hasn't, right? My dog died yesterday, but he was one of those yippy little irritant dogs so I don't really miss him. Truth be told, I may have contributed to his death. You're a medical worker, do you think stomping on a dog might harm him? What if it was done repeatedly, over the course of a year or two?

The best trick I know for passing a test is to make sure you drink plenty of alcohol beforehand. If you're really stinkin' drunk, you'll do very well. Or perhaps you only feel like you did well. Or perhaps you don't care. I'm pretty drunk right now, so I really don't care. Good luck with it though!

>> I think that you are very honest, loyal, pretty enough.

Thank you for this. I certainly strive to be honest. Well, "strive" may be too strong of a word. And "certainly" is probably not right, either. In fact, I'm not sure "honest" belongs in there. Moving on...

And for the record, I think you're "pretty enough" too.

Listen, if you need money, I'm here for you. Don't let a buck or two prevent you from fulfilling your dream to come to America. Whatever you need -- a nickel, a quarter, even a dollar -- I can take care of it. Just let me know.

I have to go bury my dog now, so I'll let you go.

With profound admiration,

Dave
====

The "I need money" bomb has got to drop soon. She hasn't read any of emails to this point; will she read the ones after she starts asking for cash? We shall see!

Stirring some interest!

It's good to see this blog is having some effect! I see a comment from one person, and I see others on the 'net looking into this scammer. Good, good.

She (sunlightlady@gmail.com) wrote again today -- another middle-of-the-road, like-what-you-like sort of thing. Brilliant stuff, truly.

I replied:
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My Maria,

I was so excited to get your message today, I thought I might just spit this warm brine all over the library's keyboard! Why, you ask, was I so excited? I WON THE LOTTERY!

Yes, it's true, I am now a millionaire! I can hardly believe it, all that money. I never would've thought I could win. Of course, I hadn't the money to play, but I traded another bum half of my half of a half-sandwich for what he assured me is a winning ticket. He would've cashed it himself, but he couldn't due to his having to appear in court on charges of exposing himself. As it was me that he exposed himself to, and I didn't so much care, I thought we could just drop the whole thing. But the police didn't see it that way.

So all I need to do is make my way to the lottery commission to claim my winnings. Trouble is, it's all the way across town and the bus costs 50 cents. Do you have 50 cents you could send me, so I can get the bus? I'd sure appreciate it. I'd just walk, but with one of my legs mostly devoured by gangrene, it would be an arduous if not impossible journey.

If you're coming soon anyway, perhaps you could just drive me over? The ticket is good for six months, so we have time.

I'm so happy! Oh Maria, I'm rich! I'm rich!

Look forward to hearing from you again!

Yours in dishonesty,

Dave
====

Her email from today follows:

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Hello Dave!

How have you been there? I hope that all is well with you! I really hope that the weather there not bad as well. How was your weekend? Did you do something fun? As for me I didn't do anything fun. As I wrote you before I'll have a test by this week, which will be on Thursday. So I was sitting at home and trying to study. You know it is very difficult for me in my age to study, but I did it. I'll continue to prepare for the test during this week, so if you'll didn't get a letter from me - do not worry. It means that I'm studying and didn't forget about you Dave. I hope you will wish me luck on my test.

I see that all your letters have come finally. Today I can say with the assurance that I did get all your letters. I'm always glad to see your answers to my questions Dave. Thanks for the answers. I hope that my answers will not disappoint you as well.

I want you to know that I went today to my agency ("Moscow Recruitment Agency" is the name of my agency. They have a branch here in Yarega) and asked them if they can find a work for me in your town or even though in your area. They said that they are not sure for now but it seems to be possible! I was very happy to hear that. It will be a great thing for me to have a familiar in foreign country that can help me to settle down. I'll appreciate if you will tell me about the life in your country, about yours traditions and customs. I do not want to look like a stranger there.

I didn't remember if I told it but I think you might wonder how tall I am and what is my weight. So here it is: My height is 168 centimetres it's about 5'6' and my weight is 55 kilograms it's about 121 pounds. As you know I like sport very much, especially tennis. But I also like hiking and camping. Sometimes I go with my friends to raft on a canoe. Did you try it? Very fun! You know I have friend who persuades me to jump out of an airplane! I'm not ready for this right now, but maybe someday soon I'll venture. Please do not think that I spend all my time for sport. I like to go to the cinema, to the theatre, arts. I like to listen to the music (very different) and to read books. I like many things in different periods of my life as the other people I suppose.

You might guess that Yarega is a very cold town, and I hope to settle down in the warmer place. It doesn't matter if it will dry or rainy place. First of all there must be warmer! In fact I have a dream to save enough money to buy a house near the ocean. I don't think it will happen in the near future, but maybe when I got old I'll be able to afford it. Do you have any dreams like that Dave? Where would you like to live you'd have a chance to choose?

Do you know why I'm sunlightlady? My friends call me so. They know how I like the hot summer sun!

Ok, I do not want to quit here but I have to. It seems that if I have more time I'll write a whole book! Just kidding! I'll write you real soon! I'll prepare a new picture for you and maybe some Russians words!

Sincerely

Your friend

Maria
====

A friend of mine wonders if she's scanning incoming mails for keywords, suggesting offers of help, money, that sort of thing. Hopefully "rich" and "millionaire" will be on her list!

Fast and Furious!

Maria's had some free time on her hands lately, more than me it would seem! She managed to get two emails and another picture off without me saying a word. You can imagine how bad I felt, ignoring her like that. So in response to her two emails, I sent the following:



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Hi Maria,

You've managed to send me two emails and I have yet to respond. I'm so sorry for leaving you hanging like that. I can tell that you're carefully reading my every word -- I have to say I'm very impressed.

Your English is fine, you have no need to apologize. I was raised by wolves, so English is my second tongue as well. I still think in "wolf", so it's difficult at times to express myself in a non-growling language. There's just no good English equivalent for a long, low growl followed by a quick nip on the shoulder.

It's cold and wet today, and since I have no home, I'm also cold and wet. I'm drawing stares even now here at the public library. People are so judgemental! If I HAD clothes, I'd wear them! They complain, but do they offer me their pants?

I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten in days. It would probably be to my benefit to save my crack and liquor money for food, but what's the point of living without them? I'll manage. If you do come to visit me, please bring some food. And some pants.

I look forward to hearing from you!

With all respect,

Dave
====

Her two most recent emails are copied here below. I should mention again that though her emails are long and tiresome, they serve two purposes here in this blog:

1. They show what an excellent scam she's pulling. If you read them, you'll see that she manages to seem to be just like me. Or you. Or anybody. She likes what you like, or so it seems. Very artful.
2. She's sending this same text to many other people. Hopefully they will Google that text, find this blog, and realize they're being scammed.

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Hello my friend!

How have you been there? I hope that all is well with you and this letter will find you in a good mood! How is the weather there? I hope not bad either! We have a cold weather here but it's a normal temperature for this period. Well I have to admit I'm a little bit worried Dave. I don't know if you received all my letters and if I got all of yours. Please look into your spam folder and maybe you'll find there letters from me or review my previous letters. So if I didn't answer some of your questions please feel free to ask me, ok? Are you receiving my letters daily? Or sometimes you receive nothing? Let me know it ok?
As for my friend Katerina, she saw her doctor lately and the doctor said that she is out of risk. I'm very glad that everything went well for her.
I've got a call today from my agency and they told me that I'll have the test which will confirm my skill in the anesthesiology by next week. You know I'm a little bit nervous. If I'll pass this test I'll have an international license in anesthesiology! I'll be able to practice all over the world!
Dave, I want to make things clear and let you know that as soon as I come to New York I'll sign the contract which will guarantee my employment for two years. Also I'll have the chance to make a choice the place (city) to work in. I will stay in New York for a couple of days and then I'll move out to the city I'll choose. In fact I want to stay in the New World and never come back to Russia. I'd like to get a citizenship in the future. Who knows how everything will turn out? As for the family I think it is also very important for me. If I ever will get married I'd like to continue my work, but I like to cook and clean the house in the free time. I want you to know that I have never used a translator programme to write letters to you. So you can see how good my English is. I write and talk English alike. Will my English be enough to talk easily in America?
Dave, you maybe feel yourself inconvenient for being older than me, but I want to say that I
always did well with the people generally older than me. So please do not worry about it. By the way, as you know my birthday will be by August 10 which makes me Leo. Leo is my astrological sign. What is yours? Do you actually believe in astrology? I'm a little bit interested in it. Are you?
Dave, I want to ask you if you ever crossed your country from ocean to the ocean. As for me I like to travel very much! In fact I have been in many places in Russia. Since I'm coming soon to America I've got a dream: to cross America form cost to cost on the car or even on the bike! I have never ridden a bike and really want to try it! You maybe think that I'm crazy, but if you would ask what I'd like to see in America mostly I'll say America itself! Please do not think that it's a crazy idea, I really like to get to know America from the inside.
Oh, almost forgot, I've just figured out that my phone cannot make an international calls. I can call to the phones if they installed in our town only.. I know it might sounds absurdly, but it is so. I'll try to figure out if I can call from the phone station. I think it will work. Also I've tried to install the Yahoo messenger onto my computer at work, but it does not work.. I'll go tomorrow to talk with the system administrator what was the problem. Hopefully he will help me to understand what went wrong.
And in the end I'd like to give you some Russian words:
Privet! means Hello!
Poka! means Bye!
Devushka means a girl
Droog means a friend.
Ok, I have to go now. I hope to see your reply soon and your thoughts on what I've written.
Sincerely
Yours friend
Maria

P.S. I did not attach a picture today, but I'll do it tomorrow. I'll prepare the most recent picture for you!
====

And finally...

====
Hello my friend Dave! I will be very glad if we could email often to each other, what do you think? I understand that writing email takes time but I'm sure it takes more time for me because my native language is russian and I'm sorry Dave if there are many mistakes in my english. I told you that I will have exam before my coming and I don't know which place to choose. Can you tell me your address Dave? If I will know your address I will ask about possibility for coming close to your location so I could work and live not far from you maybe in the same state or even city. What do you think about it? I hope you understand that I must come in New York city first because there is main office where I will choose the job place. I don't know the places in your country so I don't know where to live and work and I've asked about places where is the best income but they told me that there is no difference because salary is the same in different places it's the rule of contract for workers who come from other countries. I hope you understand. So how is your day? Are you interested in meeting me in real life or all this just for virtual chatting, exchange emails? What do you think about ability for my coming in your state, city? I hope you understand that it's serious question for me and if you will give your answer about it I will be very glad but please be honest Dave because I'm honest and I want to tell you again that I'm interested in knowing and meeting you Dave, I feel that you're good guy Dave, but I'm not sure what is your intent? I want you to know that I will come for working and living in any case and I don't know about how long time I will work and live before I get the citizenship and other things but I will not return back in russia if I will not want it because the government of other countries are interested in people who have good education and who could work for prosperity of country. So I want to live and work for a long time. There are many peculiarities I like in man, it's a self-sufficiency, loyalty, intelligence, mannerliness, generosity, honesty, solicitude. I like when the man is kind, cheerful, attentive. I love the life and health, I love children but I havn't any. I think that children are our future and I remember myself as child and I'm always like a child in my heart. Hope you're too! How's the weather today? Today is cold wind and I feel that the winter comes very soon maybe next week I will see the snow but I'm not sure. Today I have many deeds for my preparation for exam and coming but everything is good and I hope I will do it and I hope the result will be worthy also. I will wait for your email Dave and I will wait your answers to my questions.


P.S. I attached a pic that was taken last summer in the city of Saint-Petersburg. It is a very beautiful city! Have you ever been there? If not I advise you to make it there someday!
====

BTW, I was just kidding about being naked in the library. It was actually a cyber cafe. :-)

I don't think she's reading my emails! ;-)

Maria has written back, and it would seem she's not reading my emails! How rude! She didn't address any of my issues. I was very curious about her views on fly mutilation. *sigh* Oh well, at least she did write:

====
Hello my friend Dave. I'm sorry about the delay again. But there a car accident with my my girlfriend Katerina. She was hit by drunken driver. She was crossing the road and the car throw out her. Fortunately she disposed of light injures. I'm glad that everything went well. She feels much better now.. Ok, enough about it.
How is your day? Lately I watched a TV and there was a proframme about Halloween. I wonder, do you have the holiday which is the most sweet? My favourite holiday is New Year and my birthday. I told already you that my B-Day is on the 10 of August and I will be 29 and I guess it will be not in my country because I will come to your country for living and working. Did you ever heard about working between countries for exchange? People from one country work or study in other country and people from other country work or study in first country. This is program which allow to work and live in country what you want but the education (for working) or direction of education (for studying) required. I want to remind you about my situation. I told you that I will come to north america (united states or canada) for living and working. I hope you remember about it. I'm an anesthetist and I prepare for examination for having job outside my country. There is an agencies in different countries all over the world which work with different agencies in other countries. So agency from my country make all papers for my job and when I'll complete all tests and exam I will come to place in north america.. I will choose the place in agency and will work and live there because employers will give me the financial support provided to the needy and I could live. The exam will be soon and they told me that I will come because many people all over the world do this things and I'm the very good specialist in my speciality. Now I will finish my work in russia and prepare for coming. I guess it will be after 2-3 weeks when I complete all procedures and get all papers for coming. I heard that americans are good people but I know that there are many bad or good persons in any type of nationality and country. I guess that you are Dave is a good guy and I will be very glad to know you better, hope you are too! Now I want to tell you a little more about me and my life. As I told you I live in Yarega city and I was born here also. It's a small town in the Russian province. I live with mother because she is alone and my father passed away as I told you already in my previous email. I have a grandmother also and she is 78. She lives not too far from me and my mother. Her name is Lubov, do you know the meaning of russian word "lubov"? It's "love". Hope I could teach you some russian in the future if you want of course. I like to cook when I'm at home and I can cook many dishes and I hope one day you could taste my borsch (eastern european soup containing beets and cabbage and other ingredients) or my pilaf (middle eastern dish made from seasoned rice with meat or fish). I want to tell you why I decided to become an anesthetist. When I was young and learned in school all pupils think about profession when they finished school, college, university. I decided to become a doctor but when I finished the school I still wanted to be a doctor but there are many professions in medical direction, so I decided to be an anesthetist because the mother of my girlfriend is an anesthetist also and she said that this kind of speciality is very perspective and a good anesthetist could earn much money, could earn more if job will be in developed countries and this speciality is very helpful for people all over the world. So I decided to become an anesthetist and I'm sure it's the right choice. I could do any type of an anesthetist's work and it's very imoprtant because I have the possibility to work in any place and even in europe or north america. I will finish my work after 2 weeks because I will have the examination before my coming. After examination I will buy the ticket to New York for coming to the agency which will give me the job. It will be the place where I will choose the place to work. I'm sure it will be soon. Maybe I could meet you Dave? It will be great! You know, I'm not very good in computer and I have never used the messenger program before, do you know how to use it? If you have any questions please feel free to ask, ok?
Your Russian friend Maria

P.S. I've attached a recent pic for you! I hope you'll like it!
====

I have to admit, I didn't really reply to her email last time, so much as just write about myself. Perhaps she was trying to tell me that *I* was being rude? (Woman are so circuitous!) So I made an effort to reply to her properly this time:

====
Maria!

How nice to hear from you. My boils always shrink a bit whenever you write, from the excitement I'm sure.

Sorry to hear about your friend Katerina. When I drive drunk, I'm always very careful to avoid the roads. I usually drive through people's yards, parks, and graveyards. It takes longer, but I think the added safety is worth it.

I love Halloween! I like to dress like the Statue of Liberty and tell everyone they can huddle with my mass. Most people don't get it, so I rarely get in trouble. Have you ever been in jail?

You'll be 29? That's funny, since I'll be 92 this year. What a pair we'll make! Have you ever changed adult diapers? I ask only out of curiosity...

>> If you have any questions please feel free to ask, ok?

Thank you for this. What's your blood type? Personally, the taste of AB blood puts me off. I hope you're not AB.

Have a great weekend, Maria. I hope you never catch leprosy -- it's a bitch!

Laters,

Dave
====

Think she'll read this one, and reply to it? Golly, I sure hope so. My diapers need changin' like nobody's business!

NOW I'm havin' fun!

My dear Amanda/Maria/Masha apparently doesn't take "no thanks" for an answer. It was only two days later that she sent me this message:

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Hi Dave. I'm sorry that I did not answered fast but I thought your reply will be not so fast also. Please tell me do you want to exchange emails often? Everyday? I could email you everyday and tell you more about me. I hope you will tell me about your life and your country also so I want to tell you that if you will write me short notes or few words I want to forestall you Dave that I will appraise your short email as you do not interested. Please be honest with me, please be open and if you feel that you don't want to email me and you are not interested please tell me this thing in this minute when you think about it, ok? I will not take displeasure because it's your choice but I will be very glad if we will continue our talking. I hope your emails will tell me about your life and it will not be short. I want you to know that I hate a lie or an affectation so please no any games or tricks because I'm really serious girl and I'm not looking for senseless chatting, I'm medic and I'm really want to find friend or more because I will come in your country. I know that there are many bad people in this world especially in internet because they believe in their impunity because nobody can't see them. I know that there are many spam and autoemailers in internet so I'm careful. I believe you know about this things. I'm real girl and believe you are real as well and your emails to me will not consist of few words. I've read that there are many criminal persons in internet also, they thieve money, asking for help, sell fakes. I've read in newspaper about this things. The governments of many countries catch this kind of people and put them in jail. I really can't understand why people can't work and earn good money in this world. I hope I will because I'm going to work in country where my speciality valued more than here in russia. I told you that I will come for living and working in my previous email. I know that the people usually live in city or in the country. It's interesting to live in the city but living in the country is more peaceful, so I don't know where is better in your country, please tell me? I will have all papers for it because my education is over and I decided to build my future in good country with good wages. Dave, what do you think about it? I have selection for coming in united states or canada, I have selection in states also. I don't know where I will work but I can choose it. The salary will be approximately the same so I don't know where to come. If we will be more close in future maybe I could come in your city or near your city and we could have possibility to meet, who knows but I guess it's real thing. I don't know anyone from your country and I havn't anyone from my family there so your advises will be very actual for me. I don't know where I will live but I'm sure I will decide. I don't know the date of my trip now because I'm waiting for papers. I will get the visa and many other papers soon and I guess my trip will be after few weeks. It will be great! There are many employers for good specialists in your country and there are many companies which allow to live and work in your country. It's the business and the ability for good living for people all over the world. I'm professional anesthetist and I will use this chance because I want to live. I know that many people all over the world take this way so I will also. So I can live in the place where employers can give me my work. And there are many places in your country. I will choose the place after few weeks and will come for living and working. Now I want to tell you more about me. I'm 28 years old and my birthday is 10 August, so I will be 29 in this year. My height is 168 centimetres it's about 5'6' and my weight is 55 kilograms it's about 121 pounds. My father dead 3 years ago because of cancer, his name was Andrey (my middle name is Andreevna) and he was 59. My mother's name is Svetlana and she is 58. She support me in my choice and she is very good woman! I love my mother. I loved my father. I do believe in God. I'm Christian, russian orthodox. I havу no brothers and sisters, I'm the only child in our family. I'm living in Yarega town. It's in Komi region. I attached the map so you can see where is it. I'll attach a new picture of me in my next letter. Actually my pictures were taken by my girlfriends and I have two girlfriends, do you have many friends? I hope you have another one now! Do you know the time difference? I have GMT +3:00 (Moscow time) here. What is your time?
I love pets especially dogs and cats. I like many colours but the blue as sky is my favourite. When I have free time I like to listen to music like eurodance, pop, rock and many other kinds because I'm sure there are many great music in different styles. I have a hobbie also, it's playing in tennis. Do you know Maria Sharapova? She is a russian player and she plays tennis very well. So I play in free time either. Do you know this game? It's my favourite sport also. I like to watch movies and the last I saw "16 blocks". Bruce Willis is the main hero and I like this actor very much. What is your favourite movie and actor/actress? I hope you can understand now that I'm a simple girl, a girl who like the warm weather and warm relations. I had one love in my life but it was not mutual so it's not started like relations.. I have never been married but I hope that it will happen in the future. I don't like russian men alot because they are lazy and drink alot. I do not drink and smoke, I lead healthy style of life. I hope you like my email and I hope you will write me about your life and your thoughts. I will wait for your reply.
Hopefully your new friend Maria.
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This email is amusing because she's almost like a reverse horoscope. Rather than saying vague things that I'm supposed to say, "Yeah, that's me!" about, she instead says vague things that are supposed to make me say, "Hey, we're compatible! *I* like movies and pop music!"

But by this time, the jig is up. I know she's scamming me, so I figure I'll have some fun with it. I wrote her back:

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Hi Maria,

I live in a cardboard box behind a grocery store. I use the library for internet access, as well as for the bathroom facilities. Do you have a bathroom where you live?

I enjoy pulling the wings off of flies, then watching them flap the broken stumps. Do you think they wonder why they aren't taking off? I do.

I should tell you, I only have one arm. And it's attached to the small of my back. It makes typing difficult, since I have to face away from the screen and keyboard. I make frequent mistakes. But we all have our bears to cross, wouldn't you agree?

You mention that you're a Christian. What a coincidence! I am a Druid. I find fulfillment in the worship of trees. Particularly oak trees. When I stare at an acorn, I feel as if I'm looking at the very seed of God. Do you feel the same way?

Thank you so much for taking an interest in me. Let me know before you come, so I can make sure my box is neat and tidy, and at least rat-reduced. Rat-free, unfortunately, is not possible.

Sarcastically yours,

Dave
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Do you think she'll write back? I think she will, as I don't think she (if she exists at all) is reading these emails. I think anyone that writes back goes into a "wrote back" queue and is sent the next dispatch. Eventually, she'll be asking for some money. Will it be entertaining? We shall see!

More on this story as it develops...

The bomb is dropped!

Up to this point in coming to know Amanda/Maria, I didn't know she was from out of town. Out of country, actually. Fully out of continent, and on an entirely different land mass. To this point, I believed as she'd stated in her profile that she lived about a 30 minute drive from me. Today, she revealed the truth:

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Hi, Dave! It's me Maria. I have to apologize for not writing so long, but it was a crazy hectic week, and finally it is over! How have you been? I guess when someone close in your area you tend to be more open in sharing about yourself because the possibility of meeting seems to be welcoming but I want you to know I'm not close. Even I'm not in united states, I'm a girl from russia and I've the reason to like to get to know you. I don't want to expect that I'll not catch the reply from you because I received your message on my email and decided to write the answer. I had several profiles on different dating sites like yahoo or match but I havn't now because nobody replied to my profiles. So I deleted it and decided to reply for your message, thank you for the message! I want you to know that I'm common girl and I don't like secrecy and other things like urgency or cant. I want you to know what is the reason of my reply is. All my life I live in Russia and I never be outside of and this is the first reason. I learned in several foundations like school ,college, university and I have professional medical education, my speciality is an anesthetist and I've all certificates and patents for this kind of activity. Do you know how much anesthetist earn in Russia? Sometimes about less than ten thousand or roubles and it's about less than three hundreds and seventy american dollars because one dollar is just about twenty seven roubles. It's not so very bad here but I know that other people earn much more because they have job outside of our country. This is the second reason but I have third and it's not less important than previous two reasons. I havn't any boyfriend at this time, I hadn't husband or serious relationship before because I learned and wanted to be professional medic, now it's time for my job and making family but I don't want to have job here in russia. I want to have it in united states because the salary is much bigger and the country is more better and I will have it very soon because I have the license and my request is in progress. I have the contract already. Hope you understand that I will live in united states and I could choose the place where to live because there are many places where I could work. I want to find friends in united states so this is the reason of my email to you. Can I be friend for you? Are you interested in knowing me? Now little more about me. I enjoy going to movies, beach, parks and other places. I feel I am definitely an easy-going, fun, romantic, open-minded, honest, sincere, and loyal girl also. I hate drama and dishonesty. I wanna go slow and take our time and feel assured that the two of us have made the best choice also. Write me back tell what you feel and if you do wanna still connect with me I think we should talk. I'm really glad we managed to match each other. So on average what do you do to pass your free time? I'd love to hear about hobbies of any kind that really capture your interest. Once again I want to tell you that I will come to united states after few weeks or month so we can be friends and maybe meet in future who knows. As I told you before Maria is my real name, you can call me Maria or Masha for short or familiar. You can write me at sunlightlady@gmail.com. I've attached a picture for you! I hope you will like it!
And I'll be glad if you will send me your recent pics as well!
Waiting for your reply asap, Maria.

P.S. If you are not interested in knowing me, please let me know, ok?
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Now friends and neighbors, I think you'll agree that this is a beautiful young lady. And though you haven't seen me, you can probably guess that she's out of my league. I thought to myself, "This sounds so much like a scam, I can taste it!" After a little google'ing, I found the text of her email to me on another site. Yep, she's running this little scam for several folks.

I decided I didn't want to play. So I wrote back:

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Hi Maria,

I'm not really looking for "family making" at this stage of my life. I wish you well.

Dave
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I assumed she'd write me off as a rube that just didn't work out. Apparently, I was wrong. Her next message came only two days later.