Friday, April 20, 2007

What's The Sound of One Hand Scamming?

It appears our whirlwind romance has -- as they always do -- come to an end. It was a fun ride, wasn't it guys? Maria ( was an inarticulate, unresponsive, but quite lovely woman. She has sadly fallen silent.

No more will we hear her hints at impending financial woes, no longer will we be assured we're 'the only one she's chatting with', and we are lesser men for it.

Fare well, Dear Amanda/Maria/Masha/Comic-Book-Guy! May the few dollars you've scammed from the more naive than we allow you to live to scam another day!

From the bottom of my heart -- perhaps even reaching into the upper part of my gall bladder,


Friday, April 6, 2007

"Hey Boyfriend, can you spare a dime?"

At long last, Maria/Masha/Amanda/Comic-Book-Guy ( has FINALLY hit someone up for cash! We all knew it was coming, but the anticipation was becoming too much to bear. Thank you, Dear Scammer, for providing that much-needed relief!

News broke in a comment from loyal reader and my close, personal friend "anonymous":

Hello honey!

How are you doing? I hope everything is going well for you. The weather here has become good at last.

My mother is feeling well and her doctor said that she is recovering pretty fast. I'm very glad that everything goes well for her. My aunt Vera is feeling good too. She lives in our apartment now and will take care of my mother in the nearest future since I'm leaving to NYC. I hope that friend Katerina will help my mother also.

Well, I tried to find more money yesterday, but it seems that I took off all money from my relatives and friends already. I also tried to formalize a loan to my aunt Vera, but since she is a pensioner and does not have appropriate income to get such loan I was refused again. I started to feel that the things will not work out for me, but I decided to go to my agency and ask them if I could get an advance ($5400) which I'll get in NYC here in Yarega. But I was disappointed again. I was told that I'll get my advance as soon as I'll sign the contract. When I'll sign the contract I'll get this money in cash or they could be deposited into my account which I'll have to open. I was absolutely upset Dave. I asked in the agency if I could get a loan but do not tell in the bank that I'm leaving to NYC. And I was told that when I'll pass the registration in the airport I'll be check out completely - they will check my documents, baggage and my credit history! And if I have a debt I'll not be allowed for boarding. They showed the simple example:

Let's imagine that somebody got a loan of $100000.00 dollars (or more) and fly away. In this case the bank has no possibility or law to return the money back. Dave, I have to confess - I made a mistake. I was asked before the operation: "who will pay the bill after the surgery". And I told them that I will. I have never expected that it will so expensive. I was told that it will be much cheaper. So I signed the paper where I'm figuring like a payer. What a fool I am! But what I have to do? What did you do if you will be on my place?

I suppose you will do the same Dave. I do not know how it is accepted there but here in Russia it is very common when the children help their parents especially if they are pensioners. Dave, please do not blame me too much; I know that I did stupid thing. I learned my lesson well. But I do not know what to do now. My agency said they can wait 3 weeks and then my work place could be occupied by another employer. I know it could look weird but it seems that you are my last hope. I know for sure that I will not earn $970 dollars in 3 weeks, it's impossible.. Dave, could you help me with money somehow? It will be not a gift! I want to borrow the money from you. I swear I'll repay the money back to you as soon as I come to NYC and get my advance. I believe I can send the money from NYC to you somehow, or I could repay the money when we'll meet. Please believe me Dave, I'm not going to deceive you! I have no reason to do so. My new life is waiting for me in America and I hope YOU are waiting for me too! Please let me now if you could help me. And if you could I'll give the information on how you could help me, ok. Please do not think that I push you to do it. If you can't I'll understand then. I know that many people in America live from check to check and maybe you have your own problems that need your attention. But I hope you will help me Dave. Maybe when we meet we will laugh at this together, but for now I really need a support. Well I have to close now. I'll try to find out something, maybe the situation is not as bad as it seems! I'll keep you informed!

I'll wait for your reply anxiously!

With Deep Affection for You!

Your Russian g/friend


Ya gotta love this: "Dave, could you help me with money somehow? It will be not a gift! I want to borrow the money from you. I swear I'll repay the money back to you as soon as I come to NYC and get my advance."

She's been SO honest up to this point, how can any of us resist helping this poor little elf?